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      評中國政府網英文版中的表達問題
      作者:黃衛峰    文章來源:本站原創    點擊數:    更新時間:2012/4/25    
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      問題5該句中的表達累贅問題也是顯而易見的。

      全句試改為:50.2 percent of primary schools and 65.68 junior high schools reached the target in terms of the area of playground or gymnasium; 38.66 percent of primary schools and 53.95 percent of junior high schools met the requirements for musical instruments; 36.69 percent of primary schools and 52.43 percent of junior high schools reached the standard in fine art fittings; and 49.8 percent of primary schools and 70.17 percent of junior high schools reached the target in mathematical and experimental instruments.

       

      14. Of the students, blind students at special school for the blind were 38,300; those at special school for the deaf, 109,800; retarded ones at the special school, 216,600.

      問題1blind students at special school for the blind屬于表達累贅,后面的for the blind完全多余。

      問題2譯文中三次使用at special school,不符合英語表達習慣,根據上下文,全句完全可以簡化為Among them, blind, deaf and retarded students numbered 38, 300 and 109, 800 and 216, 600 respectively.

       

      15. There were 15,800 general senior high schools, increasing 400 over 2002; the enrolled students were 7,521,300, rising 754,300 or 11.15 percent; the number of the students at school was 19,648,300, rising 2,810,200 or 16.69 percent; the number of students graduated from senior high school was 4,581,200, increasing 743,600 or 19.38 percent.

      問題1 general senior high schools(普通高中)中的general完全多余,另外國人莫名其妙。

      問題2如把the enrolled students were中的were改為totaled,則前后兩部分的邏輯關系更加清楚。

      問題3把說明相應比例的or … percent放在括號中,更符合英語表達習慣。

      問題4the number of students graduated from senior high school 完全可以簡化為the number of senior high school graduates

       

      16. China had 720 universities or institutes eligible to provide courses for graduate study, including 407 universities and 313 scientific research institutes.

      問題1顯然,這句話中的統計數字僅限于中國大陸,用China作主語會造成誤解。

      問題2這句中的表達累贅問題也是顯而易見的。

      全句可以簡化為:There were 407 universities and 313 research institutes eligible to provide postgraduate programs on the mainland of China, amounting to 720.

       

      17. Of the number, 48,700 for doctor degrees and 220,200 for master degrees.

      問題:這句話沒有動詞,屬于片斷句(fragments)錯誤。可以改為:Of the number, 48,700 candidates were for doctor degrees and 220,200 for master degrees.

         

      18. The number of graduates that completed study and left school was 111,100, rising 30,300 over 2002.

      問題:難道還存在沒有完成學業的畢業生graduates?定語從句完全多余。

         

      19. The work of "two basic education plans" (plans for popularizing nine-year compulsory education and eliminating illiteracy among young and middle-aged people) made new progress. 問題1這句話是典型的中式英語,不符合英語表達習慣,應改為Progress was made in the implementation of the “two basic education plans”.

      問題2兩基的具體內容前面已經作過介紹,括號里的內容完全可以省略。

         

      20. By the end of 2003, of the 699 counties in ethnic autonomous regions and prefectures (including ethnic autonomous counties and banners), 405 counties have reached the targets of "two basic education plans", accounting for 57.9 percent of the total.

      問題1banners指什么?英語國家的人讀了,肯定如墜霧里。由于中國行政劃分的復雜性,不宜直譯,建議采用較為籠統的說法,如county-level administrative regions

      問題2全文其他地方在談到2003年的情況時都使用一般過去時,這里竟然使用現在完成時,與全文不符。而且,按照英語語法規則,by the end of + 過去時間短語作時間狀語時,句子應用過去完成時。

      試譯為:By the end of 2003, 405 county-level administrative regions inhabited by ethnic minorities had achieved the goal of “the two basic education plans", accounting for 57.9 percent of the total of 699.

       

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